waiting, waiting, waiting

I have to talk to someone official at work today and she's not ready for me yet so I'm waiting......

In case I haven't mentioned, I'm not such a fan of waiting.  Sometimes it's okay, if I'm early for an appointment say and I have some time to read my book, but usually, I'd rather do just about anything else.

I'm reading a book on menopause and I know that at least in part, my edginess about this appointment is from a fundamental rearranging of my priorities.  My patience for endless bureaucracy is much, much shorter than when I first graduated from social work school.

Things have changed at work recently - new contract the City bullied our union into accepting.  The stuckness of some of my co-workers is more evident and my lack of patience is going to get me into trouble.

I don't feel valued here, not by management or my co-workers anyway.  I know I'm appreciated by clients because they tell me they appreciate me.  I think I need to do what I do here, just for another agency.

I had hoped that at some point in my career, I'd be a respected expert on something, valued for my information and experience.  It's not going as planned.

I'm good at what I do, I know I am, but.......

I've always felt second best at work, even before I got my degrees.  I worked as a secretary for a long time and never really felt valued for my skills.  I went to university to get a social work degree so I'd be a professional, someone with a purpose and skills.  I like working with clients and I'm good at it, but here, in this environment, I feel like I'm treading water - working really hard and not getting anywhere.

Decisions need to get made before my mouth makes them for me......